London City Airport

Today I went to the London City Airport with my eleven year old son James. We were supervised by Joyce. It was wonderful to be out with my beloved son, and he took the opportunity to lovingly tease me about my excess weight gain [as you will hear in today's video]. Perhaps when he is a bit older, I might try to explain that my anti-psychotic medication slows my metabolism down and leaves me feeling reluctant to exercise, whilst craving all types of unhealthy foods and drinks. However, I will now make an effort to exercise more and eat more vegetables and salads. I might also up the anti and start cycling to and from my full time employment, from Monday. I'll do better than that and start my get fit routine from tomorrow morning. Wish me luck!

For Mothers Day 2011

My planned supervised contact session with my son did not take place today, as the supervisor for the contact did not arrive. I was not able to take my son out, or stay, but, at least I was able to receive some wonderful gifts from my son, James for tomorrows Mothers Day.

I was delighted to receive a drawing (of aeroplanes, of course.) I was also given a Mothers Day card and a bunch of tulips. My son played 'Amazing Grace' for me, on his recorder. My favourite. Then when I was leaving my son's abode, he started singing Vera Lynn's 'We'll meet again'.

Imperial War Museum

Today I had a wonderful supervised contact with my beloved son, at the Imperial War Museum.

It was lovely to just be mum for a few hours and listen to my eleven year old talking to me. I miss him so much, and my world when not with him is mostly made up of adults.

Each time that I meet up with my son, he seems to grow taller, wiser and more mature. I really don't want to miss out on his development, although it is harder for me now in my new full time job to be the parent that I once was. Meaning, I have an enjoyable, though challenging role in my new project worker post and life is less predictable. I.e, I cannot always stick to my end of the bargain and see my son once a fortnight. Then sometimes, I am at work on my break, when I phone him, once a fortnight. My son - luckily for me is very understanding and knows that his mum needs to work.

Today, was very precious for both my son and myself, as the last time I saw him was Saturday 26th February 2011.

James at the TATE Britan museum

Today was another wonderful (but challenging) supervised contact day, of two hours, with my son James. First we went to HMS Belfast's souvenir shop so that my son could chose something for himself to buy from his pocket money. He chose to buy a battleship.

Next, we went to the nearest McDonald's and then on to the TATE BRITAIN museum. At the Tate Britain, my son took lots of photographs of the Harrier and Jaguar aircrafts, which were on display.

My son was disappointed that he could not take part in the childrens activity of building the aircrafts, as we had arrived at the museum too late.

Today, my son cried in the car on the way home and wanted to be especially close to me, and snuggled up close to me in the vehicle on the way home.

Times like today are particularly hard for me, as the mother of a child in looked after foster care, as I so want to comfort my son and have just two hours to try to make things okay. Today, I am lucky, I know that I will be seeing him again at his Social Service's review this Tuesday. Usually, I see my son once a fortnight.

I know that my son is now eleven years old, and will be in Secondary school this September, but to me he is still my baby. And I still remember that it is my severe and enduring mental health issues that has bought about this situation.

London Bridge

Today, I had a great time with my son James. We went to London Bridge and saw HMS Belfast and went in the souvenir shop. From there we saw Tower Bridge opening and a vessel sail through. After stopping off for a McDonald's meal, I watched James open some belated birthday present from his beloved auntie Birgit.

Yesterday, was James' last day at primary school. Time seems to have flown by so fast. The last time I paid attention, I was organising for James' kindergarten! It seems strange to be the mother of a child who is going to be going to secondary school, this September. Such a big step for him.